It’s Creepy Selfie Time! AKA Annual Eye Exam.
Ah, the annual dilated eye exam. A time for me to totally freak out, retreat into a dark cloud of terror surrounding my biggest diabetes fear (losing my sight), and become generally overwhelmed by anxiety approaching the appointment wondering if the THIS is the year the doctor says “yep, you’re screwed.”
The eye exam is the appointment every year that I fear and dread more than anything else. I think it’s because I finally DO have a little retinopathy in both eyes, and it’s made it very real to me that just because I have good control over my diabetes, it doesn’t mean that I get off scott-free sans complications. There’s no early release for good behavior in Diabetes Land, and this disease doesn’t reward you for doing everything “right.” The simple fact that I’ve had this disease for 22 years puts me at risk for retinopathy, regardless of my tight control. It’s discouraging to say the least, and there’s a big “what’s the point” feeling to all of that. But of course, the point is that I’m overall a healthy person, with minimal complications, and also growing a healthy human being right here in my own baby factory, which is an accomplishment in its own right.
So what’s a gal to do while waiting for her pupils to dilate? Take some selfies of course. And then laugh later at the fact that I looked cracked out on drugs/like an Emoji/like an Anime character/bat-$h!t crazy. It’s a good thing I work in the diabetes industry because when I went to see customers later that day, they simply asked “do you want me to pull the shades?” and not “did you smoke something strong before you walked in here?” I am always amazed by the saucer-sized pupils those stinging drops create.
The selfie-taking helped distract from the nervousness I get about this appointment. The doc came in and peeped the back of my peepers. Her conclusion was that nothing had progressed in terms of the mild peripheral neuropathy that I have developed, which is exactly what you hope for once this crap has started. The goal is simply to halt the progress now, which is best done by the obvious: more good control. And I’ve got that covered, especially for the next five months while this little munchkin continues baking.
So now, enjoy this creepy selfie. You’re welcome.
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Comments
I sometimes feel like I shouldn’t read the intertubes. I don’t think I’ve ever actually worried about the eyes , even though there is some mild retinopathy. I always blame that on my teenage years and forget about it again.
Now, of course, I feel like I’m taking it too lightly.
Also .. erm. I tend to bring sunglasses. For .. you know.. after. Nothing more fun than driving home at night with your sunglasses on … 😛
Floh - I got my exam done around 8 in the morning so I was in sunglasses all day….after I took the selfie of course! One of my nicer customers was so sweet, she pulled me in to an exam room and dimmed the lights for our discussion - good thing I work with endos all the time!
hmbalison, I can totally relate - we thank goodness for the medical care and what we DO have when we’re threatened with that changing in any way. Glad you are doing ok!
I also hate the eye exam, but I go every year. A few years ago, I learned I have retinopathy in one eye (very small spot) and surprise! acute angle closure glaucoma. Totally unexpected. Not diabetes related but still bad news because if left untreated, it can cause blindness. Now I have to go to the eye doctor 3-4 times a year for check ups and I take drops multiple times a day. I’m grateful for the medical care. Every time I put a drop in my eye, I feel so grateful to be able to see.