I’m sorry too. But not in the same way.
People say a lot of things when you tell them you have diabetes. There’s the judgmental response of “is that the bad kind?” (as if there was a good kind) that makes you want to scream. There’s the connection response of “oh my cousin/son/mom has diabetes too.” And there’s the immediate question response of “oh so you have to like take shots and avoid sugar, right?” Over the years I’ve gotten better at taking in all of these responses. I try to answer questions if people have them, and make jokes when people are being judgy in the hopes to help them be kinder. But the response I’ve always had a hard time with is “I’m sorry.”
The issue with this one for me is totally personal. My father passed away when I was 15 years old, and the response, to this day, when I tell people that my father is gone is always “I’m sorry.” I associate this response with the absolute worst case scenario: someone dying. I’ve never been able to wrap my brain around it as a response to having diabetes. Beyond that, I know I struggle with the idea that anyone would ever feel sorry for me. I have an amazing life, full of love and good health. I’m fine people. Nothing to feel sorry for over here! But those are both my issue. It’s actually a perfectly polite response, especially if you catch someone off guard or if the person doesn’t understand diabetes very well. It’s not them, it’s me.
But maybe I can spin it differently in my head. Maybe if I try I can not take “I’m sorry” so personally. Maybe I can make the “sorry” be an apology for this disease being such a pain in the ass. If I instead complete the sentence for them in my head with “I’m sorry you have to deal with the most confusing, nonsensical, annoying, totally unfair, completely unpredictable bullS%$* all the time because of this disease.”
There. That’s more like it.
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