68 grams of Carbohydrate. Believe dat.
I am sitting in Starbuck’s while I write this post, and I’m eating a bagel. Yeah I said it. Bagel. A veritable carbohydrate land mine just waiting to explode and ruin my numbers for the day. And I just don’t care that much. I know that’s not a great attitude, and I know I could be having some healthy egg whites at home, but today is Saturday of a three-day weekend, and I can’t resist a little indulgence.
That, and I’m tired today. Not physically tired (on my second iced coffee and slept 9 full hours last night. Boo-yah.) I am ‘betes tired. I am just having one of those days where I feel like I work full time for the Diabetes Man, and I didn’t freakin’ sign up for this job! Not to mention the benefits suck.
My diabetes burnout started yesterday at lunch. My boss and I were itching to get out of the office and take break, so we scooted over to a coworker’s desk to steal him away for our lunch adventure. I stood at his cubicle and noticed a little lightheaded-ness creeping in. Low? P’haps, better test…I pulled out my meter and juggled it on my wrist while I used my poking device (official name) to get a sample. 130. Hhhm, you’re fine, but the light-headed feeling might mean you are heading low…well we’ll be eating soon, no biggie. We hopped in the car and headed to a Greek/kebob place we had been wanting to try.
My eyes immediately scanned the menu for some low-carb options. I quickly decided on a gyro salad (all of the flavor, none of the carbs!) and I grabbed my drink cup for the fountain sodas. As I watched the Diet Coke flowing into my cup, I noticed my hand shaking. That light-headed feeling was still there. Crap…getting lower? Nah, just hungry…you were 130 like 15 minutes ago. I plunked down at the table with my buddies and injected 60mcg of Symlin, my usual lunchtime dose.
Not 30 seconds later, I realized I had made a mistake. My vision blurred, my words were slower, and I started to sweat a bit. Yep, there I was with a full-blown low blood sugar and a lunch on the way containing about zero carbohydrates. Not to mention I already had my Symlin on board, meaning my gastric emptying was slowing down which would make it that much harder to treat a low. My salad arrived, and I was immediately grateful for the 4 slices of pita bread that accompanied it. I wolfed those down first, and tried to start on my main course. My brain was sending me the “get some gull-dern suga in your belly before I shut down completely” message, and I looked at my fork-full of meat and lettuce and realized I wouldn’t make it through this lunch unless I upped the carb ante a bit. I gave an exasperated “harrumph” and meandered over to the soda fountain. I poured some Mountain Dew and grabbed three sugar packets. Lovely lunch I though to myself.
I sat back down, drained the sugar packets and the soda, and after a few minutes, I resumed my lunch. It was so hard to slow down and enjoy it when my brain was practically rioting for carbs. As it often happens, diabetes had trumped my efforts to do something good for myself in ordering a low-carb lunch. The desperate feelings of cell starvation stripped the enjoyment of that meal, and left me annoyed at the whole situation. I didn’t say anything to my coworkers, although they would have been awesome and understanding, and willing to listen to my gripe. I was just too annoyed to even complain.
So that’s how I got here today – eating a bagel. I’m just tired today folks, so I am going to let myself not be annoyed and be a little passive today. Makes me feel a little better just to write that. I have admitted my transgressions right here to you readers, in hopes that the universe of ‘betes can forgive me for cheating on my blood sugars today with this carbohydrate bomb. (Don’t tell my glucose meter! He’ll freak out…..)
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Been in that situation before. Much better than waking up on the floor at 2 in the morning to find the paramedics pumping sugar into your veins. Yikes.