One Day.
Life is full of “one days.” One day I’ll get married you think to yourself. One day we’ll own a home. One day I’ll finally be able to run a full marathon. If you have diabetes, there are other “one days” that go along with that. One day there will be an artificial pancreas. One day I might have a really serious complication. One day someone might have to call the paramedics for me. One day they might actually find a cure. One day maybe there won’t be anymore diabetes.
All of these “one days” are simply the musings of our greatest dreams and aspirations, and the specters of our greatest fears. They’re the stuff we want that maybe we don’t know how to get yet, or they are the subjects we are simply not ready to deal with. They are our way of throwing something to the theoretical wall to see if it sticks. One day I hoped to marry someone kind, understanding, smart and funny. And one day he was there, finally. One day I went to the eye doctor and retinopathy, however mild, was there too, finally. These days have a way of arriving whether we are prepared or not.
Of all the “one days” that have rattled around my brain, the thought of having children was the one that excited – and terrified – me the most. One day I will have a person that I created, that I will carry, that I will welcome into the world, that I will name, and I will raise. I have always believed that I can do anything I want with diabetes. That I would never allow it hold me back.
And indeed, I’ve found love, a career, traveled the world, ran half marathons, done competitive karate, blogged for five years, moved to a new city, found myself putting Humalog in a cup of ice on a beach in Honduras so remote there was no fridge to keep it cold and yes, I have done all this with diabetes. I was bolstered in these adventures by knowing I was not the only one do have done it. I leaned on my community, my tribe, for advice and confidence. But having a baby? That sounded like the biggest adventure of all.
I always knew I wanted a child. I always pictured another face at the dinner table. But the challenges associated with having a baby with Type 1 diabetes were daunting to me. I heard from countless women with diabetes that yes, it was hard, but so doable, and so so worth it. I wanted to know everything – what was your A1c during your pregnancy? What did you eat, exactly? How did you manage work and your diabetes and being pregnant? How did you manage so long with such limitations on coffee (see where my priorities are?) I tried my very best to be prepared for one day. I met with my endo, and a high risk OB. I read books specifically for managing T1 and pregnancy, and I scoured the blogs. I carb counted and I titrated and I exercised and I got that A1c down to 5.8% and I did all the things I needed to do to “prepare.”
But oh, how I did not know that you cannot prepare for that moment. There is nothing in this world that can prepare you for the moment when you see your little creation on the ultrasound screen, the tiny heart beating healthy and happy. There is nothing that will make you more proud, excited, terrified, grateful, or full of wonder in that moment.
I am so excited that “one day” will finally be here September 8th, and that he or she is completely and utterly perfect. We are so excited, and feeling so very lucky for this next big adventure.
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Comments
Congratulations! You’ll be a great mother. Being more than one monkey’s uncle, I am an expert in spotting parental talent!
Congratulations! I’m at 34 weeks now. It’s been so much work, but now there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there.
A huge sigh of relief reading your blog. My 12-year old daughter got diagnosed T1D just three days ago. We know so little about what we are in for at this point. But, reading that a pregnancy is possible…that’s a good thing. It just all so much negative to adsorb right now…I’d like to know there’s some life-important positives that remain intact after this diagnosis.
Congratulations!!! My due date was September 5, 2014 but my little guy came a few days early. I still had one cup of coffee everyday (with cream). The hardest part was cutting out carbs and bolusing a BOATLOAD of insulin for meals…I’m talking 15-20 units (and I’m a 3-4 unit person normally!) It got to the point that I would eat almost the same thing every day to keep as many variables constant as possible. YOU CAN DO IT 
Feel free to email if you ever have questions!
You are mad! Mad! Did you not like sleeping? Those glorious nights are over. Forevvaaaah!
Oh and also: Congratulations
I don’t know what to say to all of these incredibly sweet and nice comments. I think the only words that come to mind are THANK YOU. Thank you so much for being there for me and being the sounding board in good times and bad. I am so so so happy and feel so lucky. All the hard work is worth it. And one day, carbs and I shall meet again!
Congrats!!! I’m a fellow type 1 (for 20 years now) and have been reading your blog on and off for a few years. I have always been curious on when you were starting this journey, and what do you know, it’s at the same time as me! I’ll be delivering by Sept.20 at my 38 week mark. So excited for you and can’t wait to follow along and see what we share in common!
Type 1 since 1966 and over 65. The price has just double for mu Humalog and Lantus. I will soon be paying it all when in the Medicare donut. Cost $650 for three bottles of either insulin.
Pretty mad and looking to do something. When in the donut I can get it from Canada for $275 for 3 bottles.
Anbyone else fighting this
Congratulations! As a Type 1 mommy of an almost 2 year old, you CAN do it and your beautiful baby will be healthy and your biggest joy in life.