Head games.
The day could not have been more perfect. Jacob and I threw together a picnic lunch of sandwiches and fresh blueberries, and loaded the dog into the car along with water, toys, and snacks for her. On the way out of the house, I grabbed four packs of GU: two to replenish the stash in my purse and two to leave in the car as backups. I patted myself on the back for remembering to refill my low supplies before there was an emergency to remind me to do so. We piled in to the car, picked up my soon-to-be-sister and law, and headed west towards the Sandy River park. When we got there, Jacob, me, and our dog Cali got out. I left my purse hidden under the front seat, and I told sis-in-law where it was and to keep it hidden. She was borrowing the car out to a local waterfall because she wanted to do a quick hike. She’d be back in two hours to pick us up. All the logistics of the day were working out perfectly.
Jacob and I walked the mile trail through the national park to the river, our dog excitedly pulling all the way long. Dozens of dogs and owners passed by us going both ways, and Cali wanted to greet each one of them. By the time we reached the river, she could barely contain her excitement. We took off her leash and watched her zoom off to each canine friend already splashing in the water. This dog would sleep well tonight!
While Cali played, Jacob and I sat down on the shore and unwrapped our sandwiches. I dosed a healthy bolus, as I’d been struggling with high BGs all morning. After we ate, we played with Cali for a while in the water. After about thirty minutes, we wandered back to our supplies. I pulled out the stash of blueberries and Jacob and I snacked on them while watching Cali play. As an aside, I thought to check in on the ole BG. My Dexcom read 106mg/dL with an arrow pointing slightly down. Finally under 200 was my first thought. And then it hit me.
I was heading towards a low, a mile out from the nearest road, with absolutely nothing to treat a low blood sugar except for the remaining half cup of blueberries. I’d left the GU packs in the car and in my purse! How could I have done this? How could I have remembered everything else that day and left the one essential behind? I looked around the shore and scanned the crowd. More than one group of people appeared to be picnic-ing, and in my head I was already going over what I’d say: “I’m sorry to bother you but I have diabetes and I am having a low blood sugar. Do you have anything I can eat that has carbohydrates in it?”
Jacob saw the look on my face and asked me what was wrong. When I told him, he handed the rest of the blueberries to me.
“Did you shut your basals off?” he asked, knowing that would be my best bet to stop the continued plummet.
“I’m doing it now” I said, reaching for my pump controller while pouring the rest of the blueberries into my mouth. “I think it’s fine” I continued, saying it much more for myself than for Jacob.
And things were fine. Shutting off my basals and eating the blueberries stopped the drop in BG. The Dex arrow flat-lined shortly after that and by the time we were back in the car heading home, the arrow was pointing slightly up and showing a 126mg/dL. But worrying about my blood sugar for the last hour of our adventure had ruined things for me. The beautiful day, the cold and refreshing river, all the dogs running and chasing and making new friends…I couldn’t enjoy it because I was worried I’d go low and have a real emergency.
And this, my friends, is really the tough part about this disease. It’s the mental space that this disease fills and takes away from every single day. It’s being able to remember the doggie bowl and extra napkins and even pickles to go with the sandwiches but forgetting the one thing I might really need because of this silly disease. I hate it when diabetes infringes on my ability to enjoy something. And I hate it even more when I take great pains to not have it bother me. It’s so incredibly frustrating that you can be a planning maniac and still have things go wrong. I hate that part of this disease. Never mind the lancing and the pump and the pricks and all the physical pain that goes with it. It’s the mental hurdles that I hate jumping over the most.
Might need to tie a GU packet to the dog leash, just for future reference.
Did you enjoy this post? Why not leave a comment below and continue the conversation, or subscribe to my feed and get articles like this delivered automatically to your feed reader.
Comments
Ugh, I’ve been there! I’m always amazed at how I’ve been doing this so long but can still be forgetful of those most basic things. And you’re so right - the mental aspect of an oncoming low or an unshakeable high are often worse than the physical! Always so much to remember and keep in balance…
I keep a handful of plastic-wrapped hard candies in my pod case for just this reason. I never go for them if I have anything else to treat a low with, and as a result, they get gooey and kind of gross and it’s even easier to never go for them if I have anything else with me. But they are there if I need them, and the carbs still work to bring my sugars up. I’ve only used them once or twice, but it’s always in situations like you describe - I totally forget to bring anything carby during a hike or some other activity where I’m far away from civilization.
Thanks for reminding me I’m not the only one who has done this guys 
And also, that’s genius to stash something in my pod case - that always comes with me! Good call.
That’s a bummer. We’ve been there, for sure. This spring we were snorkeling in Akumal, Mexico and I had a gu pack stashed in my bathing suit top in case Ava needed it. (of course she wouldn’t be able to actually check as the meter was in a locker on the beach - a good 15 minute swim in to shore!) My older daughter and I decided to swim in but Ava and her dad wanted to keep swimming with sea turtles. It was only when I was up on the beach that I realized that Ava was now very far from the gu pack. Luckily she didn’t need it but I felt sick until them came ashore. After that she carried her own gu!
I relate more than I’d like to. Yesterday, I was going to a water zumba class. I checked my blood sugar, and it was 113..Too low for a new activity/class. I’ve gone low in a swimming pool before, and it’s not pretty. I ate a 17g carb protein bar even though I wasn’t hungry. I always worry when I’m out doing a new physical activity what it will do to my blood sugar. I hate it.