Artwork.
Diabetes is many things. It’s a disease. It’s a pain in the ass. It’s sometimes a great excuse for eating healthy. It’s a lifestyle and a sometimes a burden and sometimes a blessing in disguise.
And every once in a while, it’s an art form. Like on Friday night when I woke up at 3am, just a little low - 67mg/dL to be exact. I got some juice, but worried I would get another low that would prevent me from sleeping in on Saturday morning. So I turned down my basals by 40% and crawled back in to bed. And the next morning I woke up at a glorious, flat-lined, 115mg/dL. That number felt like a doggone work of art, considering how poorly it could have gone.
How did I know to do this? Years of experience. I’d had a little wine the night before, so I knew that could push me towards a low all these hours later. I’d also been dancing at the birthday party I’d been at, so that could show up with a latent exercise effect hours later. Plus I thought about the steak salad I’d had for dinner - that was done digesting by 3am so there wasn’t a risk of my BG popping right back up as the proteins broke down - they were all gone. And I made all of these decisions at 3am in a matter of seconds.
On this blog, I write a lot about my frustrations with diabetes. But all of us living with this disease, whether we’ve had it for 19 days or 19 years like I have should celebrate our small wins. There are moments when there is artistry in the management of diabetes - a trained eye zeroing in on exactly what’s needed in the moment, and everything coming out just beautifully.
Did I really just describe diabetes as beautiful? Yes. Yes it can sometimes be just that.
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Comments
Hang in there Jessica. My control and motivation goes up and down with the seasons it seems. Today is was 291 at lunch time. Why, why, why. I did cardio this morning and everything. Somedays it just wants to be high. I was in the 30s last night at midnight, so it likely had something to do with it.
Jessica I feel your pain - and to some extent, there will always be “Great Frustrations.” But it does get easier to manage this disease as time goes on. All we can do it learn from the last experience and try to make it better as time goes on. Hang in there girl!
Ugh. I’m so hoping I get there. I’ve entered The Great Frustration stage. Hopefully, my doc appointment this Wednesday will help.