I don’t know how we got on the subject of diabetes. All I know is that he had more product in his hair than an Exxon Mobil spill, and his Ed Hardy-knockoff v-neck was revealing a liiiiitle too much chest hair for midday. Even if we were out wine tasting. On a party bus. With strobe lights. Whatever.
However we got there, somehow I found myself trying to explain CGM to the King of Bros. Trying not to tear my gaze away from his fauxhawk, I had pulled out my my Dex receiver and was just about to show him the trend line when he said “Oh so you wear a beeper huh? Little beeper thingy to keep your sugars in check right?” He was grinning smugly and nodding as if he had just nailed a Jeopardy question. I can only imagine he was referring to an insulin pump.
I paused. Thought about the setting I was in. Thought about how much would actually sink in right now. He had just taken two Jell-O shots.
“Yep. That’s right. A little beeper filled with insulin. Keeps me healthy.” I smiled and then turned my attention to other activities on the bus. This was my day with my friends and I was just too damn over it to launch into Diabetes 101 for someone with that much hair gel. I decided to not pursue the conversation any further.
As we pulled in to the first winery, we began to shuffle out of the bus and he kindly allowed me to go in front of him, placing his hand on my back briefly to usher me through. He hand brushed against my OmniPod.
“Oh there’s your beeper!! I found it hahaha!” quips King Bro.
“Yep. Sure did,” I said, internally wishing for a mute button on this guy. I was annoyed, but still didn’t care enough to spend the time and energy to educate deaf ears. I quickly forgot about his comment and jumped back into enjoying things; snapping photos with my friends and checking out the flight of reds this stop had to offer.
We were at the winery for about 45 minutes before I stood up from the table to run to the restroom. I pulled the Dex out of my pocket to check in: 145 trending up slightly. I can live with that I thought, mentally noting to bolus soon if it kept heading up.
“Hey Lexie” I hear a voice bellow across the room. “How’s that sugar doing? Did you check in and reg-u-late your business? Better keep that in check!”
I turn around, already knowing where the commentary was coming from. My gaze meets that of the Fauxhawk’s, who is laughing and pointing at me, flicking his thumb in a pistol motion à la Saturday Night Fever. He was so proud of himself for catching me checking my Dex from across the room and relating it to anything diabetic that you would have thought he had just diagnosed me.
I’m contemplating throwing my wine glass at him. Thinking about telling him that the Jersey Shore called and wants their haircut back. Perhaps mentioning that he shouldn’t comment on a serious disease that he doesn’t know anything about.
I turn back towards my table and look at some of my best friends sitting there, laughing and enjoying the day.
I turn back around, and look towards the Bro: “Yep. Doing just fine dude” I holler back. And I leave it at that. Too awesome of a day to slow down for that one.