This is art.

I am an artist. My medium of choice is daily attempts at mimicking the body’s natural, flawless physiology. This piece is called “Wednesday Morning.

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At 5:05am, my blood sugar had zoomed to just over 300mg/dL, thanks to a heavy meal the night before and perhaps a little dawn phenomenon thrown in. The arrow pointed with angry slant upwards. I bolused three units in the dark and the arrow slowly changed course over the next few hours.

Then at 8:00am, I awoke down at 79mg/dL. At 8:45am, I was 70mg/dL, with only 15 minutes before my gym class. I lowered my basals by 80%, and took out a GU, careful to only consume half of the packet to prevent too sharp a spike.

In my workout, I checked in on my Dexcom on every water break. When I was safely at 93mg/dL with an arrow straight across, I changed my basals again to beĀ  reduced by only 50% for the remaining 20 minutes of class.

I ate a breakfast of eggs and veggies while the rest of the table had biscuits and pancakes. I bolused three units, even though there were no carbs because workouts can cause a spike in my numbers hours later.

And finally, I rested here at 96mg/dL. Not for long. But for a while. And after so many ups and downs.

I am an artist. Diabetes is my canvas. Some works are prettier than others, but they are all very real. And every day I make a thousand brush strokes to try and create a reproduction of the perfect, flawless human body. It’s a hard medium, this whole diabetes thing. But man, it feels good when you get it right.

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Comments

Yes, exactly! Thank you for putting this into words!
Some days, after a million tiny adjustments I picture myself as an air-traffic controller. I have also pictured myself as a symphony conductor.

Emily- I like the mental picture of both of those too! Sometimes there’s an off note or two in there. So many variables, it’s a miracle we ever get it right!

Nonono.. that sounds like self-doubt and pessimistic thinking. Actually diabetics are just that much more intelligent than other people – we can handle this. Air traffic controlling and conducting symphonies would be something for a relaxing afternoon. We get it right most of the time, after all.

I like your enthusiasm and optimism Floh! We got diabetes because we’re clearly the sharpest in the bunch :)

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