High yourself, jackass…

Dear Diabetes,

You make no &%$#ing sense. I bolused properly for dinner. And dinner, by the way, was over eight hours ago. Everything that could have possibly pissed you off has long been digested. And I took is EASY on the carbs anyways. I even bolused right before bed for that 170mg/dL, just to make sure I’d sleep well.

But here you are for no. Reason. At. All. 291? At 5:05 in the morning as I’m trying to get my bleary, still half-asleep self to the gym? You think this is fair? I have not eaten in eight hours. I didn’t change my basals in the middle of the night. As far as I know I’ve never slept-walked and baked a cake and then ate it. So where they hell did this workout-ruining crap come from?

Did you have a bad dream? Did I go low and you over-recovered? Who knows. You’re the perpetual jackass in my life. You never answer any of these questions anyways, because you speak gibberish.

Ok. That’s all. Thank goodness its Friday. Diabetes can’t screw that up at least!

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I hope your day improves. I had a 402 the other night from mostly nowhere. I like to think of it as a battle. Somedays, I lose the battle, but I keep fighting the overall war.

Change your pod yesterday? Hit a bad site? If you didn’t change sites yesterday then maybe this is an episode of When Good Sites Go Bad where Minor Cannula Occlusion (Mic O) is a common antagonist? I know it costs a lot but now that I’ve gotten older I’ve found that the peace of mind from immediately changing pods is totally worth the extra expense of wasted insulin and a partially used pod.

Besides if I do change the pod early I get to feel like the protagonist Detective Diabetes (Detective Diablo or maybe in your case Detective Dianne would be more appropriate) doing good investigative work and ruling out suspects.

Sorry but I’ve been reading a really good mystery book lately and I tend to go overboard. But my point is that Diabetes is a non-stop SOB and if we let ourselves get angry at it (and I’ve done that way too often) it has a negative impact on how we feel emotionally and physically. But if I can channel that energy into something fun and productive I end up feeling much better.

This wasn’t suppose to come across as preachy as I fear it did so please don’t take it that way. It’s just a little friendly advice that I am more than willing to admit could be worth what you paid for it. 😉

John you’re not preachy! I appreciate that pep talk actually. I definately let my emotions get the best of me sometimes, and then it’s all a negative downward spiral from there. I like the idea of being Detective Diabetes and channeling that energy somewhere good! Thanks 🙂

Yeah, you’re right. Diabetes is a real jackass. Sometimes I find it ridiculous that we bolus to a 10th-of-a-unit precision based on a meter reading that’s 20% inaccurate and a carb-SWAG that’s about 80% inaccurate. Then we hope it will tame the diabetes beast that’s just gonna do whatever the hell it wants, regardless. With no consistency from day-to-day.

But we try our best, and sometimes we succeed. But if you don’t, don’t blame yourself…blame the jackass.

“You’re the perpetual jackass in my life” – that is great! I think I will use that one:) Some days it does just sneak up on you with a high or low out of no where and you feel like you failed yourself. Dont let it get you down, though – you are amazing!!

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