Reality ‘Betes Bites

What if all the popular reality shows were suddenly starring people with diabetes?

The Real Diabetic Housewives of Beverly Hills: “OMG did you SEE her Gucci testing kit? She totally copied my Louis Vuitton gold-plated lancing device. Whatever.”

The Bachelor:  “Will you accept this rose?” “OF COURSE…actually hold on, I’m low (BEEEEP goes the DexCom in the background), just wait a minute….any of you other chicks up here have any glucose tablets?”

Survivor: “Your next challenge will be to figure out how to bolus for….crickets roasted over an open fire after a four kilometer sprint while being chased by a bear…GO!”

Jersey Shore: “GTIL baby!! Gym, tan, insulin, laundry. And no-carb Red Bull and vodkas all night long!”

The Real World, Diabetes: “What happens when seven diabetic strangers are picked to live in a house?” Probably several tantrums over being low, then high, then low again, plus a few catfights over the last test strip and who ate all the beef jerkey.

Top Chef: Diabetes: “Alright, your ingredients for this challenge are meat, cheese, eggs, cruciferous, non-starchy vegetables, and a pound of almonds. Anyone exceeding 10 grams of carbohydrate per serving is automatically ELIMINATED!”

America’s Next Top Diabetic Model: “I said your right HIP forward for this shot! Show off that hot insulin pump girl! Make that pump WORK IT for you!”

My Super Sweet Sixteen: “For my sixteenth birthday, my daddy got me a Bentley and four full-time assistants to check their blood sugar and bolus insulin WITH me just for fun. Plus Justin Beiber’s pancreas! YAY!”

Keeping Up with the Diabetic Kardashians: “Sooooo today I’m like, selling a few photos of myself changing my infusion site to the tabloids….just kidding I don’t really have diabetes! I have fake diabetes because it’s good for ratings….but I TOTALLY donate to diabetes charities….

Just a thought 🙂

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Nikita would be a very different show if she had to test her blood glucose before every fight. House, despite being home to Novo Nordisk (Princeton, NJ), wouldn’t change at all. House would still be as cranky as ever. If Walter on Fringe had diabetes, the show would also remain unchanged, except his constant request for snacks would be low carb. “Aspirin, get me three dozen guinea pigs, four car batteries and some Wisconsin cheddar.” And finally, “Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23”–wouldn’t change at all, either.

Yeah, Baby 😉 Great thoughts. “Dancing With The Stars” already had Rob Palmer for the win … next will Paula Deen on “Chopped.”

Jeopardy: I’ll take “mysterious blood glucose patterns” for 500, Alex.

I will total watch them 🙂

You’re hilarious!

This IS hilarious! Good post!!

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